There is no one writing these words. They are the construct of the thoughts that are self generating inside a glob of matter encased inside the skull atop a unified set of biological organisms that is identified by a given name of X.

Except for the brain matter that fires up these thoughts, what is their source? What causes them to alight in the specific direction that they do? After all, they could go in millions of various directions. Yet something has caused them to express this particular line of thinking. One answer is that they are more of a reaction than a new generation. Could there be original thought without there first being perception or experience?

If not, then all thought is a regurgitation of what has previously been observed in some capacity or another. It is a blank slate being filled up with observations and perceptions, which then give rise to interpretations of those previously captured images.

Therefore, it can be concluded that thoughts are not anything new but just a rehash of the old. There is nothing absolutely and pristinely fresh about them. The best you can say about them is that they can express the past in novel and creative ways but they cannot be something that is born from a vacuum, from nothing. They cannot create anything that has never been before.

Therefore, upon thoughts reflecting upon themselves they conclude that thoughts are constricted and stuck in a fixed sphere of stale knowledge and it is impossible for thoughts alone to ever pierce through this closed sarcophagus of the known.

To transcend and walk out of this cave of partial darkness, something other than thought or reason must lead the way.

I am first a biological organism. I breathe in and I breathe out as a sign of continued life. That is my fundamental function of existence. All else grows from, is in conjunction with and dependent on that ground.
The physical unit is conscious of its own individual existence and its relationship to all external existence.
This consciousness is allowed to operate by way of the neurobiological processes of the physical brain.
Through this process there is perception, insights and unsolved mystery in all that consciousness experiences.
These experiences are absorbed into the consciousness, interpreted and from that interpretation a description is constructed to be held in memory.
The description is unique to the individual consciousness that creates it. It may be very similar to other descriptions held by other individual consciousnesses or very different.
In the search for absolute truth, the varying descriptions become an obstacle because truth cannot be described. Any attempt at stating what is truth is doomed from the outset because it cannot be stated.
To wallow in the descriptions or notions of what is truth is never to know it.To know truth is to wipe clean all descriptions of it. 

I love Connie. I always have. I feel a special intimacy with her unlike any I have for any other person, not even close.
I see all of her qualities as beautiful and good. I admire her whole person in how she interacts with the world and the people around her.
She is a force of goodness in my world. She more than balances out all that is unpleasant and disagreeable in it.
I feel nurtured and comfortable in her presence. Yet she causes me to push the envelope of exploration seeing new ways of perceiving the world.
I look at her face and see it as the ideal structure of bone and flesh come together to form the epitome of beauty. I look at her eyes and even after all these years they continue to dazzle me.
I feel fused to her spirit and can’t imagine myself whole without it.

I forgot. I should forget more. I wish I could.
I would have so much more time to enjoy that
I which I hope to forget in the future.
Yes, I know there are so many wonderful times
that are enjoyable to remember,
but even those take up too much room and crowd out
the new things that are waiting to be enjoyed.

We tend to do, that, which is directed from down deep in our subconscious. We then try to explain it, justify it, condemn it or aggrandize it with words that come from the surface, through our intellect.
Our actions are preordained by what already exists inside of us, that which has accumulated from the beginning of our gaining consciousness.
Rather than trying to rationalize what flows from the depths of our being, we should simply become more intimate with it. Get to know it: fuse that which is cultivating beneath the surface with that which reasons.

Winter has a feeling of being closed in but not in a stifling way; more like being cosseted by it. It was a lovely weekend, spending it with my love, not doing anything special in particular but all of it seeming extraordinarily warm and loving. I felt comfortingly and affectionately hugged by the season.

Your conditioning, it is so ingrained. It goes so deep, so rooted, it seems impossible to ever be totally free of it. The only way to deal with it, is not to try to excavate and extract it away but to acknowledge it is there, be keenly aware of it and its effects and don’t try at all to strip it away. However, when observing or interacting, know that there is this heavy carriage of influence that is bearing heavily on what you perceive and affecting how you interpret. Instead you must see without looking through the lense of your conditioning, your nationality, your religious affiliation, your political persuasion or any other group or ideology that you may identify with.

The actual, the unadulterated raw truth cannot be taught. It can only be perceived through personal, internalized experience.
Following a teaching to find the truth can be helpful in pointing one to the experience but it can also be the hindrance that causes one to be stuck in the mechanics of the description and never immerse oneself into the actual. One must completely abandon the description and inhabit the experience in order to see and feel that which is as it is.

It’s interesting how admiration or praise received from others can have such a rousing emotional impact. Because when you think about it, what does someone else’s estimation of you or your deeds actually accomplish? It is merely a confirmation of a particular positive image that you have fabricated about yourself.
So it’s the positive image that’s important and someone else’s admiration just feeds into it.
Then why does the positive image instill such buoyancy and a poor self-image cause such despair. After all, they are just that: images, which imply unreal, not having substance. Yet it can make the difference between being happy or being depressed. Why?
Do we live our lives in the clouds, meaning that we view ourselves and the world around us through our imagination rather than seeing everything as objective reality?
It seems like we have a prodigious ability to interpret. We view everything through our perception, which is influenced by much more that the inherent characteristics of the thing we observe, or people we observe.
This is very easily provable by way of how I am perceived by various people in my life. It’s obvious that the person my wife sees is very different than the one my mother sees or that my co-worker sees and on and on with everyone that I come into contact with. And none of those perceptions of me are exactly the same as the the one I have of myself. In fact the image I have of myself changes from year to year, sometimes day to day.
The question becomes, can we turn off or at least turn down what seems to be a runaway imagination and attempt to see with an objective eye devoid of past influences, instilled biases or extraneous fabrications?
The hindrance to such an endeavor is that we need our ability to interpret and judge in order to navigate through our interactions with the world. We need to bring in our past experience in order to dissect the underlying intentions of people we deal with. We can’t just take everything at face value. Calculation is required. Assumptions must be made and all that leads to interpretation, which means filling in the gaps with our own input rather that just accepting what we see.
So as it is with most things there must be a balance that is required.
We should continue to view with a discerning eye but we should be aware that we are doing so and that what we see, the image that is recorded in our brain, is made up from both its objective reality and our imagined view.

There is so much effort that is just the expending of energy and nothing more.

There are so many goals to which much effort is applied that are just distractions to the real.

There are so many contentious issues whose only purpose is for us to contend.

We fill our lives with so much filler that we never experience the pith of it.